5 Lessons About Relationships to Teach Your Kids

When looking for life lessons to teach your child about relationships, the first question to ask is, “What makes a good relationship?” Self-help books, therapists, and couples worldwide often cite a few basic areas that help build and keep them strong. Here are our Top 5 lessons on relationships for youth.

1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Communication in a relationship may sound obvious, but lack of communication is the number one reason for divorce. “Researchers have found that communication style is more important than commitment levels, personality traits, or stressful life events in predicting whether happily married couples will go on to divorce.” With that in mind, it should be the first lesson we teach our children about relationships.

In a relationship, letting your emotions take control and jumping to conclusions is easy, especially as a teenager or young adult. Here are a few tips to remember to pay attention to how you communicate:

Take time to cool down and process your thoughts before you talk. Have you ever said something in anger to your child and regretted it afterward? This is common when your emotions are involved, making you susceptible to mistakes. As a parent, you can help your child work through their feelings and find ways to speak about issues when they get upset to avoid conflict. Working through emotions and establishing good communication will teach your kids how to have respect in relationships.

Another skill to teach your child is active listening, which you can practice with them. When speaking about a problem, make sure you understand what they are saying by repeating what they said. This action will clear up any confusion before delving deeper into the conversation and will let them know you care about what they’re saying.

2. Be Your Own Person

Early in a relationship, it is easy to lose track of yourself. This is especially true for teenagers and young adults who haven’t yet fully developed their own personality. While it is natural for them to want to spend time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend, take the time to talk with your child about the importance of doing things for themselves. Encourage them to try out for a sports team or play. Make them aware of their responsibilities as students and members of the family. Help them set personal goals and understand that one person can’t be everything to someone, and by being their own person, they will strengthen their relationship.

3. Play to Each Other’s Strengths

While you encourage your child to focus on themselves, you can also talk to them about what to look for in a relationship. Your child may expect a boyfriend or girlfriend to fix everything in their life. When talking about relationships with your kids, help them create healthier expectations. Share with them that different people have different skills, and these differences become very apparent in a relationship. The most successful are those where two people’s strengths and weaknesses complement each other.

4. Be Reliable and Accountable

Here is a lesson you will want to share with your child, even if they’re not in a relationship. Parents, kids, employers, and partners expect reliability and accountability. Trust is built by showing you care enough about someone to consider their needs and responsibilities. Do what you say you’re going to do. If you need to cancel, show them that you understand that your canceling has affected them.

5. Kindness Goes a Long Way

The best thing about a relationship is knowing you matter to someone. When your child is in a relationship, each person should let the other know they’re appreciated, and small acts of kindness go a long way in doing that. With these small acts, show your child what an intimate relationship formed on kindness can be:

Let Them Know You Appreciate Them and What They Do

Do you take the time to thank your child or partner when they do something to help you out? Thanking them for small things like doing the dishes or picking up their room shows your respect and appreciation and helps your child understand how good it feels to be validated.

Take the Time To Do Little Things for Each Other

A small thing like a hug, a sweet text, or a kind note can bring a smile to your child’s face and let them know they’re cared for. You can make a difference in what your child expects from someone they love with a little effort.

These steps can make a big difference in creating healthy and successful relationships. When thinking about relationship lessons you can teach your children, remember when you’ve followed the behaviors above and how they affected your relationships. If you want more life lessons to teach your children, visit the All For Kids parenting blog or talk with one of our helpful representatives today.