How to Practice Positive Discipline

As children grow and learn, they will naturally make mistakes along the way. No matter how big or small these mistakes are, it is the parents’ job to correct bad behavior through discipline and positive reinforcement. When this occurs, it is important to use positive discipline techniques.

What is positive discipline exactly? Read on as we explain what positive discipline is, how to enact this type of discipline, and the thin line between certain discipline techniques and abuse.

What Is Positive Discipline?

Simply put, positive discipline is a parenting tool that focuses on encouragement, kindness, and problem-solving skills to correct undesirable behavior in children. More specifically, positive discipline reinforces the idea that children can learn and grow through effective discipline. Effective discipline is centered around mutual respect, solutions vs. punishment, and effective communication.

So, how exactly does positive discipline affect child development and good behavior? When you approach a situation from a kind and empathetic standpoint yet remain firm with your parental boundaries, you begin to build a level of trust and understanding with your child. As such, discipline becomes a learning point for your child rather than feeling like cruel and corporal punishment for unwanted behavior.

Examples of Positive Discipline

Now that we’ve discussed what positive discipline is, here are some ways we recommend disciplining in a positive way:

1. Time-Ins

Instead of automatically sending your child to time-out, consider that the reason they may be acting out is a lack of attention. If that is the case, time-outs will only make them more frustrated. A time-in, however, is when you take the time to sit with your child after they have made a poor decision.

You can allow your child to calm down while still being present physically by reading a book or going on a walk with them. After your child has calmed down, talk to them about their behavior and why it is not okay. Your chances of getting through to them are noticeably higher when they feel safe and secure.

2. Redirect Bad Behavior

Another way to enforce positive discipline when your child is misbehaving is through redirection. Here, you have the parental ability to navigate the situation. Next time your child displays unwanted behavior, take them outside for a change of scenery and environment.

In doing so, your child’s attention may quickly shift to something else, allowing space for calmness to set in. Once they have calmed down, you can ask what was wrong and explain why the behavior is not okay.

3. Use Encouragement

One of the best ways to enact positive discipline is to use encouragement regularly. Good behavior should be verbally rewarded at the very least, especially if it does not happen often.

When your child feels affirmed in the good that they are doing, the chances of them continuing to enact those positive behaviors are much higher. Next time your child makes good decisions, especially on their own, tell them how proud you are and why their good behavior makes a difference.

4. Give Selective Attention

Frequently, children will act out poorly to get attention. Unfortunately, if this misbehaving and attention-seeking strategy is not corrected early, it can become a cycle. However, the easiest way to correct this behavior is through selective attention.

With selective attention, you choose if and when to respond to your child’s behavior. For minor incidents, such as purposefully spilling juice on the table, it is best to turn your cheek and not make a big deal out of it.

While incidents are sometimes genuinely accidents, there are also times when children engage in mischievous acts simply to get your attention. The less attention you pay to minor attention-seeking acts, the less likely they occur. Just make sure that you understand what child neglect is and avoid making them feel that way.

Discipline vs. Abuse: A Thin Line

One of the most important takeaways from this article is understanding the difference between discipline and abuse. Unfortunately, the line between the two is very thin and blurred and can be crossed easily if the difference between the two acts is unknown. So, before you ask, “What is verbal abuse?” and “Is yelling abuse?” here are some of the most common disciplinary reactions that could be considered abuse:

Spanking or any physical aggression
Name-calling
Kicking your child out of the home
Silencing children by not letting them talk about how they feel.
Leaving a child by themselves for an extended period of time
Mocking children’s behaviors and emotions
Locking a child in a room
Withholding food

Each of these actions has a significantly negative effect on children and causes more emotional and mental problems in the long run, increasing the likelihood of misbehavior exponentially.

Start Enacting Positive Discipline Today

There is no one-size-fits-all answer when questioning how parents should discipline their children. As each child is unique, so are parents, especially in how they enact their parental roles. By incorporating these positive discipline techniques into your family’s lives, you can ensure your child will feel loved and heard as they learn how to correct their poor behavior choices.

However, if you feel that your child needs extra support, All For Kids provides tools and resources that can help any child (ages 0-21) who is displaying emotional or behavioral distress. It is often difficult for parents to manage certain behaviors independently. However, extra support is available and will make all the difference in your child’s growth process.

No matter how you choose to incorporate positive parenting into your family’s lives, you can be sure that you will see a significant difference, both in the short and long run.

Sources:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241532#neglect